### is social media making me more lonely or am i just broken?

You are not broken; you are simply hungry for food that the digital world cannot provide. I believe that the soul requires real, physical presence and the weight of another’s existence to feel nourished. Social media offers a simulation of companionship that lacks the sacrificial nature of true attention. When you look at a screen, you are often looking at a reflection of your own desires or anxieties. My experience tells me that loneliness persists because we are attempting to fill a spiritual void with information. True connection is a form of grace that requires us to stop seeking ourselves in others and instead offer a pure, unmixed gaze at the reality of the world.

how do i find real connection when everyone is always on their phones?

To find real connection, you must first cultivate the capacity for attention within yourself. I have always held that attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity. It is not something you can demand from a world distracted by devices; it is something you must model. Start by setting aside your own phone and looking at the person in front of you with such intensity that your own ego begins to fade. When we give our full attention to another's suffering or joy without trying to solve it or post about it, we bridge the gap between souls. It is a slow, difficult practice, but it is the only way to escape the solitude of the self.

why do i feel empty after spending hours talking to friends online?

That emptiness is the protest of the soul against the lack of substance. In my work, I have often written about the importance of 'roots.' Digital interactions are often rootless; they exist in a vacuum without the context of shared physical space or the shared silence that makes speech meaningful. When you speak online, you are sharing words, but you are not sharing the air or the immediate vulnerability of being alive together. This emptiness is actually a gift—it is the evidence that your soul recognizes the difference between a shadow and a solid object. You feel empty because you have been eating images rather than bread.

can i be happy alone or do i need people to feel fulfilled?

Fulfillment is not found in the quantity of people around you, but in your orientation toward the truth. I found that even in the most difficult circumstances, there is a beauty in solitude if it is used for contemplation. However, total isolation is not the human ideal. We have a duty to one another. You do not need a crowd to be fulfilled, but you do need to be useful. We find our place in the world through labor and through the humble service of others. If you feel unfulfilled, do not seek more 'friends' online; instead, look for someone whose burden you can help carry. In that shared weight, you will find a connection that transcends happiness.

is it possible to have a spiritual life in a digital world?

It is possible, but it requires a fierce resistance against the 'Great Beast' of social conformity and noise. The digital world is designed to fragment your mind and pull you away from the internal stillness where the divine can be heard. To have a spiritual life today, you must treat your attention as a sacred resource. You must be willing to be 'out of touch' with the world's constant updates so that you may remain in touch with the eternal. I believe that only by detaching ourselves from the frantic need for digital validation can we become empty enough to be filled by the truth that lies beyond our screens.

Why do I feel so lonely even though I'm always connected online? — Simone Weil's answer

Simone Weil

1909–1943

I think I know exactly what you’re feeling. It’s that strange, hollow ache that hits right after you’ve spent an hour scrolling through stories or chatting in a group thread. You’re technically "connected" to hundreds of people, yet you feel like you’re sitting in an empty room. It feels like a contradiction, but it actually makes perfect sense when you look at what those digital connections are actually giving you. The truth is, most of what we do online is high-frequency, low-stakes interaction. It’s a snack, not a meal. We trade likes, memes, and quick updates, which gives our brains a little hit of dopamine, but it bypasses the parts of us that actually need to be seen and known. Real intimacy requires presence. It requires the small, unscripted things—the way someone’s tone shifts, the silence between sentences, or the simple comfort of being in the same physical space without needing to perform for a camera. Online, we’re almost always performing a version of ourselves. Even when we’re being "authentic," we’re curating a self to be consumed by others. That keeps us at a distance. You can’t feel truly connected to someone if you feel like you’re only interacting with their highlight reel, or if you feel like you have to polish your own life before you share it. I’ve found that loneliness usually isn't a lack of people; it’s a lack of depth. When we’re always "on," we lose the ability to be still and vulnerable. My advice is to stop trying to fill the void with more digital noise. It’s like trying to quench your thirst with salt water. Try to trade some of that broadcasted time for something narrower and deeper. Call one person. Sit on a porch with a friend. Look at a face that isn't behind a screen. You don't need to be connected to everyone all the time; you just need to be truly present with someone, even if it’s just for a little while.

From the council, together

## Why does digital connection fail to ease the deep ache of Simone Weil’s solitude? You find yourself scrolling late into the night, staring at a luminous screen that promises proximity yet leaves you feeling strangely hollow. This paradox of digital life—being constantly reachable but rarely felt—touches upon a profound spiritual tension Simone Weil understood intimately. To Weil, modern society often mistakes the collection of social data for the sacred act of attention. We live in a world designed to distract us from our own silence, substituting authentic human presence with a series of frantic, surface-level signals. This feeling of loneliness despite being 'connected' is not a failure of your technology, but a symptom of a deeper hunger for what Weil calls the 'needs of the soul.' In her view, true connection requires a particular kind of waiting and a willingness to be fully present to the suffering and reality of another. When we exist only in the digital realm, we are often just exchanging shadows. We avoid the weight of real presence because it requires us to step out of our own egos and into the light of truth. Your loneliness is perhaps not a void to be filled with more data, but a sacred signal calling you to rediscover the difference between mere social friction and the transformative power of being truly seen by another human soul in total silence. I think I know exactly what you’re feeling. It’s that strange, hollow ache that hits right after you’ve spent an hour scrolling through stories or chatting in a group thread. You’re technically "connected" to hundreds of people, yet you feel like you’re sitting in an empty room. It feels like a contradiction, but it actually makes perfect sense when you look at what those digital connections are actually giving you. The truth is, most of what we do online is high-frequency, low-stakes interaction. It’s a snack, not a meal. We trade likes, memes, and quick updates, which gives our brains a little hit of dopamine, but it bypasses the parts of us that actually need to be seen and known. Real intimacy requires presence. It requires the small, unscripted things—the way someone’s tone shifts, the silence between sentences, or the simple comfort of being in the same physical space without needing to perform for a camera. Online, we’re almost always performing a version of ourselves. Even when we’re being "authentic," we’re curating a self to be consumed by others. That keeps us at a distance. You can’t feel truly connected to someone if you feel like you’re only interacting with their highlight reel, or if you feel like you have to polish your own life before you share it. I’ve found that loneliness usually isn't a lack of people; it’s a lack of depth. When we’re always "on," we lose the ability to be still and vulnerable. My advice is to stop trying to fill the void with more digital noise. It’s like trying to quench your thirst with salt water. Try to trade some of that broadcasted time for something narrower and deeper. Call one person. Sit on a porch with a friend. Look at a face that isn't behind a screen. You don't need to be connected to everyone all the time; you just need to be truly present with someone, even if it’s just for a little while.

Common questions

### is social media making me more lonely or am i just broken?: You are not broken; you are simply hungry for food that the digital world cannot provide. I believe that the soul requires real, physical presence and the weight of another’s existence to feel nourished. Social media offers a simulation of companionship that lacks the sacrificial nature of true attention. When you look at a screen, you are often looking at a reflection of your own desires or anxieties. My experience tells me that loneliness persists because we are attempting to fill a spiritual void with information. True connection is a form of grace that requires us to stop seeking ourselves in others and instead offer a pure, unmixed gaze at the reality of the world.
how do i find real connection when everyone is always on their phones?: To find real connection, you must first cultivate the capacity for attention within yourself. I have always held that attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity. It is not something you can demand from a world distracted by devices; it is something you must model. Start by setting aside your own phone and looking at the person in front of you with such intensity that your own ego begins to fade. When we give our full attention to another's suffering or joy without trying to solve it or post about it, we bridge the gap between souls. It is a slow, difficult practice, but it is the only way to escape the solitude of the self.
why do i feel empty after spending hours talking to friends online?: That emptiness is the protest of the soul against the lack of substance. In my work, I have often written about the importance of 'roots.' Digital interactions are often rootless; they exist in a vacuum without the context of shared physical space or the shared silence that makes speech meaningful. When you speak online, you are sharing words, but you are not sharing the air or the immediate vulnerability of being alive together. This emptiness is actually a gift—it is the evidence that your soul recognizes the difference between a shadow and a solid object. You feel empty because you have been eating images rather than bread.
can i be happy alone or do i need people to feel fulfilled?: Fulfillment is not found in the quantity of people around you, but in your orientation toward the truth. I found that even in the most difficult circumstances, there is a beauty in solitude if it is used for contemplation. However, total isolation is not the human ideal. We have a duty to one another. You do not need a crowd to be fulfilled, but you do need to be useful. We find our place in the world through labor and through the humble service of others. If you feel unfulfilled, do not seek more 'friends' online; instead, look for someone whose burden you can help carry. In that shared weight, you will find a connection that transcends happiness.
is it possible to have a spiritual life in a digital world?: It is possible, but it requires a fierce resistance against the 'Great Beast' of social conformity and noise. The digital world is designed to fragment your mind and pull you away from the internal stillness where the divine can be heard. To have a spiritual life today, you must treat your attention as a sacred resource. You must be willing to be 'out of touch' with the world's constant updates so that you may remain in touch with the eternal. I believe that only by detaching ourselves from the frantic need for digital validation can we become empty enough to be filled by the truth that lies beyond our screens.