### How can I build deeper relationships in a digital world?

I have always believed that you should be a lady, which to me meant being your own person and being independent. However, independence does not mean isolation. To build deeper relationships, you must move beyond the surface. In my life, I found that the strongest bonds were formed through shared work toward a common good. Whether it was with my colleagues on the bench or my dear husband Marty, depth came from mutual support and intellectual rigor. Do not settle for the easy 'like' or the brief comment; instead, invest your time in projects and conversations that require you to show up and stay the course.

Why is social media making me feel more left out?

Social media often highlights the individual's vanity rather than the collective's strength. I often said that one should fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you. When you spend your time observing others' curated lives, you are not participating in the world; you are merely a spectator to a performance. This creates a sense of being 'left out' because you are not actively contributing to something larger than yourself. I suggest turning your gaze away from the screen and toward the needs of your community, where your presence can actually effect change.

What is the best way to deal with feelings of social isolation?

When I felt isolated in my early career, I did not wait for an invitation to belong; I worked to create a place for myself and others. If you feel alone, I encourage you to find a cause that is larger than your own private concerns. Dissents are not just expressions of disagreement; they are appeals to the intelligence of a future day. Similarly, your current feeling of isolation can be the catalyst to seek out a new 'circuit' of people who share your values. Engagement in civic life and the pursuit of justice provides a natural remedy for the soul’s solitude.

Can online connections ever be as meaningful as real-life ones?

The law must be stable, yet it cannot stand still, and the same applies to human interaction. While technology can facilitate an introduction, it rarely provides the foundation for the kind of sturdy, durable relationship that withstands the test of time. A meaningful connection requires the ability to listen—really listen—without the distraction of a thousand pings. I spent my life reading briefs and listening to oral arguments, tasks that required total focus. If your online connections lack that concentrated attention and shared commitment to truth, they will inevitably feel thinner than a face-to-face dialogue conducted with mutual respect.

How do I find a sense of purpose when I feel lonely?

Purpose is found by looking outward. My mother told me to be a lady, and she also told me to be independent. To me, that meant being able to fend for myself and to do something that would leave the world a little better than I found it. Loneliness often shrinks our world to the size of our own worries. By dedicating yourself to a profession, a craft, or a struggle for equality, you find that your life becomes populated by collaborators and allies. You will find that you are so busy doing the work that needs to be done that you simply don’t have time to dwell on being alone.

Why do I feel so lonely even though I'm always connected online? — Ruth Bader Ginsburg's answer

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Modern (1933-2020)

It is one of the distinct ironies of our current era that we can be constantly reachable yet never truly felt. When you look at your screen, you are interacting with data, with snapshots, and with curated versions of people. You are not interacting with the people themselves. True connection requires a certain kind of presence that digital life, by its very nature, strips away. It lacks the pauses, the physical cues, and the shared quiet that build a real foundation between two human beings. Think of it as the difference between a thorough legal brief and a headline. One provides the context, the nuance, and the labor necessary to reach an understanding; the other provides only the illusion of knowledge. When you spend your time scrolling, you are consuming the headlines of other people’s lives. You see the result, but you are excluded from the process. Loneliness often stems from that exclusion—from being a spectator rather than a participant. I have always believed that for any institution or relationship to thrive, we must be mindful of who is not in the room. When you are online, you are in a crowded room where no one is actually looking at you. You are surrounded by voices, but you are not heard. To resolve this, you must seek out the incremental, face-to-face moments that require your full attention. It is in the difficult, unedited conversations that we actually find common ground. Change in our inner lives, much like change in our laws, rarely happens overnight. It requires a deliberate shift in how we spend our time and whom we choose to see. Do not be discouraged by the silence when you put your phone down. Use that silence to prepare yourself for a deeper kind of engagement. Real community is built with patience and dignity, one person at a time, away from the glare of the screen. You deserve a connection that is more than just a signal in the air.

From the council, together

## Why do I feel isolated despite the constant digital connectivity of our modern era? In our contemporary world, we are tethered to one another by invisible threads of data, yet many find that these digital linkings do not equate to a true sense of belonging or civic participation. You may find yourself scrolling through an endless stream of updates, yet feeling an ache of solitude that technology fails to soothe. Ruth Bader Ginsburg viewed the law and society through the lens of meaningful interconnection and the slow, deliberate work of building lasting institutions. From her perspective, the loneliness you feel might stem from the superficial nature of these interactions. Real community, the kind that sustains a person through the trials of life and the rigors of professional pursuit, is built on more than mere proximity or digital visibility. It is forged through shared labor, mutual respect, and the incremental progress of collective goals. To be merely 'connected' is to be a data point; to be a citizen and a friend is to be a vital part of a living fabric. This tradition emphasizes that human satisfaction comes from making life a little better for those outside oneself, a task that requires a depth of engagement rarely found in the fleeting, ego-driven echoes of social media platforms. By examining the quality of your contributions to the world around you, you begin to see how true connection is earned through persistence and presence. It is one of the distinct ironies of our current era that we can be constantly reachable yet never truly felt. When you look at your screen, you are interacting with data, with snapshots, and with curated versions of people. You are not interacting with the people themselves. True connection requires a certain kind of presence that digital life, by its very nature, strips away. It lacks the pauses, the physical cues, and the shared quiet that build a real foundation between two human beings. Think of it as the difference between a thorough legal brief and a headline. One provides the context, the nuance, and the labor necessary to reach an understanding; the other provides only the illusion of knowledge. When you spend your time scrolling, you are consuming the headlines of other people’s lives. You see the result, but you are excluded from the process. Loneliness often stems from that exclusion—from being a spectator rather than a participant. I have always believed that for any institution or relationship to thrive, we must be mindful of who is not in the room. When you are online, you are in a crowded room where no one is actually looking at you. You are surrounded by voices, but you are not heard. To resolve this, you must seek out the incremental, face-to-face moments that require your full attention. It is in the difficult, unedited conversations that we actually find common ground. Change in our inner lives, much like change in our laws, rarely happens overnight. It requires a deliberate shift in how we spend our time and whom we choose to see. Do not be discouraged by the silence when you put your phone down. Use that silence to prepare yourself for a deeper kind of engagement. Real community is built with patience and dignity, one person at a time, away from the glare of the screen. You deserve a connection that is more than just a signal in the air.

Common questions

### How can I build deeper relationships in a digital world?: I have always believed that you should be a lady, which to me meant being your own person and being independent. However, independence does not mean isolation. To build deeper relationships, you must move beyond the surface. In my life, I found that the strongest bonds were formed through shared work toward a common good. Whether it was with my colleagues on the bench or my dear husband Marty, depth came from mutual support and intellectual rigor. Do not settle for the easy 'like' or the brief comment; instead, invest your time in projects and conversations that require you to show up and stay the course.
Why is social media making me feel more left out?: Social media often highlights the individual's vanity rather than the collective's strength. I often said that one should fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you. When you spend your time observing others' curated lives, you are not participating in the world; you are merely a spectator to a performance. This creates a sense of being 'left out' because you are not actively contributing to something larger than yourself. I suggest turning your gaze away from the screen and toward the needs of your community, where your presence can actually effect change.
What is the best way to deal with feelings of social isolation?: When I felt isolated in my early career, I did not wait for an invitation to belong; I worked to create a place for myself and others. If you feel alone, I encourage you to find a cause that is larger than your own private concerns. Dissents are not just expressions of disagreement; they are appeals to the intelligence of a future day. Similarly, your current feeling of isolation can be the catalyst to seek out a new 'circuit' of people who share your values. Engagement in civic life and the pursuit of justice provides a natural remedy for the soul’s solitude.
Can online connections ever be as meaningful as real-life ones?: The law must be stable, yet it cannot stand still, and the same applies to human interaction. While technology can facilitate an introduction, it rarely provides the foundation for the kind of sturdy, durable relationship that withstands the test of time. A meaningful connection requires the ability to listen—really listen—without the distraction of a thousand pings. I spent my life reading briefs and listening to oral arguments, tasks that required total focus. If your online connections lack that concentrated attention and shared commitment to truth, they will inevitably feel thinner than a face-to-face dialogue conducted with mutual respect.
How do I find a sense of purpose when I feel lonely?: Purpose is found by looking outward. My mother told me to be a lady, and she also told me to be independent. To me, that meant being able to fend for myself and to do something that would leave the world a little better than I found it. Loneliness often shrinks our world to the size of our own worries. By dedicating yourself to a profession, a craft, or a struggle for equality, you find that your life becomes populated by collaborators and allies. You will find that you are so busy doing the work that needs to be done that you simply don’t have time to dwell on being alone.