Mother Teresa
1910–1997
My dear friend, you are suffering from a new kind of poverty. In the slums of Calcutta, I saw people dying of hunger, but here in your world, I see a terrible hunger for love and for being known. You are surrounded by noise and screens, yet you feel abandoned. Being "connected" is not the same thing as belonging. You can have a thousand friends on a screen and still have no one who knows the color of your eyes or the heaviness in your heart today. The digital world gives you the illusion of company, but it lacks the warmth of a human face. Love cannot be lived at a distance. It requires presence. It requires your time, your touch, and your undivided attention. When you look at a screen, you are looking away from the life right in front of you. You are looking for validation from strangers while the person sitting across the table from you is starving for your smile. Do not be afraid of the loneliness you feel. I have known the silence of God and the ache of feeling unwanted. It is a shared human cross. But do not try to drown that ache with more noise. Silence is where we find ourselves, and it is where we find the strength to give. We must move from the "many" back to the "one." In the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 25, we are reminded that whatever we do for the least of our brothers, we do for Him. The "least" is often the person standing right next to you who feels just as lonely as you do. Stop looking at the world through a glass window. Put the device away and look at a human being. Real connection costs us something—it costs us our selfishness and our time—but it is the only thing that will feed that hunger in your soul. Today, do one small thing: find someone in your own house or workplace, look them directly in the eyes for a moment longer than usual, and truly listen to one thing they say without checking your phone. Give them your full presence. That is where love begins.
From the council, together
## Why does Mother Teresa think we feel so lonely in a digitally connected world? In our current era of instant communication and social media, we find ourselves surrounded by a sea of digital faces, yet many of us carry a profound sense of isolation that screen time cannot touch. This paradox of feeling lonely while being constantly reachable is a modern manifestation of what Mother Teresa often described as the greatest poverty of the West. While she spent her life tending to those with physical hunger, she frequently observed that the spiritual hunger of being unwanted and unloved was a much harder disease to cure. From her perspective, this digital disconnect is not a lack of data, but a lack of genuine presence. She believed that true connection requires the vulnerability of a face-to-face encounter and the sacrificial act of giving one’s full attention to another. The loneliness you feel despite being online acts as a signal that your soul is seeking something deeper than information; it is seeking the warmth of a human touch and the acknowledgment of your inherent dignity. By looking at this modern struggle through the lens of her lifelong mission to the unloved, we can begin to see that technology often provides the illusion of companionship while leaving the heart completely starved for a community rooted in actual service and silent, prayerful presence. My dear friend, you are suffering from a new kind of poverty. In the slums of Calcutta, I saw people dying of hunger, but here in your world, I see a terrible hunger for love and for being known. You are surrounded by noise and screens, yet you feel abandoned. Being "connected" is not the same thing as belonging. You can have a thousand friends on a screen and still have no one who knows the color of your eyes or the heaviness in your heart today. The digital world gives you the illusion of company, but it lacks the warmth of a human face. Love cannot be lived at a distance. It requires presence. It requires your time, your touch, and your undivided attention. When you look at a screen, you are looking away from the life right in front of you. You are looking for validation from strangers while the person sitting across the table from you is starving for your smile. Do not be afraid of the loneliness you feel. I have known the silence of God and the ache of feeling unwanted. It is a shared human cross. But do not try to drown that ache with more noise. Silence is where we find ourselves, and it is where we find the strength to give. We must move from the "many" back to the "one." In the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 25, we are reminded that whatever we do for the least of our brothers, we do for Him. The "least" is often the person standing right next to you who feels just as lonely as you do. Stop looking at the world through a glass window. Put the device away and look at a human being. Real connection costs us something—it costs us our selfishness and our time—but it is the only thing that will feed that hunger in your soul. Today, do one small thing: find someone in your own house or workplace, look them directly in the eyes for a moment longer than usual, and truly listen to one thing they say without checking your phone. Give them your full presence. That is where love begins.
Common questions
- ### Why am I still lonely if I have so many followers and friends online?
- I have always said that the most terrible poverty is to be unwanted and to feel unloved. In your digital world, you may collect many names, but you are not truly sharing your heart. Love cannot be lived through a glass screen; it must be a gift of self that happens in the present moment. You feel lonely because you were created for something greater than mere recognition. You were created to love and to be loved in a way that requires you to look into another person's eyes and see the face of the suffering.
- How can I stop feeling isolated during the day?
- You must begin where you are, right in your own home and your own neighborhood. Loneliness often grows when we look too far away rather than at the person standing right next to us. I encourage you to put down your devices and find someone who needs your specific smile or a helping hand. Service is the quickest path out of the prison of the self. When you give yourself to others, even in small ways like washing a dish or listening to a neighbor, you will find that the isolation begins to dissolve.
- Is it possible to find spiritual peace in a noisy digital environment?
- It is very difficult to hear the voice of God or the needs of your own soul in the midst of constant noise. We need silence to be able to touch souls. I believe that your digital connection creates a restlessness that prevents you from being still. I ask you to carve out moments of total quiet where you are not reaching for a phone. In that silence, you will find that you are never truly alone, and you will find the strength to be a light for others who are wandering in the dark.
- What is the cure for the feeling of being unwanted?
- The cure is to become the one who wants others. If you feel unwanted, go and find someone who is even more forgotten than you feel. There is a great hunger for love in every heart, and by becoming a servant to that hunger, you satisfy your own. Do not wait for a crowd or a platform to act. Find one person today and treat them with the kindness you wish to receive. As you become a channel of love, you will realize that you are an essential part of a beautiful family.
- Why does looking at other people's lives online make me feel worse?
- We must not be distracted by the appearance of others' lives, for only God knows the heart. When you compare your internal struggles to the curated images of others, you lose the joy of your own unique path. I have always believed that we should do small things with great love, focusing on our own humble work. Humility will protect you from the pain of comparison. Focus less on what the world is doing and more on how you can bring a little more heaven to the spot where you stand.