### Why do I feel more isolated after spending time on social media?

When I walked the forests of my youth, I learned that true connection requires your whole being. Social media invites you to share only shadows and fragments of your life, which creates a hollow bond. You are looking at a mirror of others' curated joy rather than their true spirits. I found that peace comes when we stop performing for the world and instead seek the quiet, honest presence of the Creator. To heal this isolation, you must step away from the digital noise and reconnect with the physical reality of the earth beneath your feet and the air in your lungs.

How can I find a sense of community without relying on technology?

I often found my greatest sense of belonging in the silence of the woods or the shared prayer of a small, devoted circle. True community is found in shared labor, shared silence, and physical proximity. Look for groups where words are less important than action and presence. Even if you are physically alone, you can connect to the 'Great Family' of creation—the trees, the animals, and the ancestors. When you treat every living thing as a relative, the sharp edges of loneliness begin to soften, and you realize you have never truly been standing alone.

Is it possible to use the internet and still remain spiritually grounded?

Just as I navigated the complexities of two different cultures, you must learn to walk between worlds with intention. Technology is a tool, but it must not be your master. I suggest creating a 'digital forest' of sorts—spaces of time where you leave the devices behind to seek the Great Spirit in silence. If you must use these tools, do so with a heart of service rather than a hunger for validation. Use the light of the screen to plant seeds of kindness, then quickly return to the stillness of your own heart to ensure those seeds are rooted in truth.

What should I do when the silence of being alone feels scary?

In my village, the forest was sometimes a place of danger, but it was also where I found my deepest strength. If silence feels frightening, it is likely because it is echoing the questions your heart has been avoiding. Do not flee back to the noise of the internet. Stand firm in that silence as if you are standing in a holy grove. I invite you to see this quiet not as a void, but as an opening for the Great Spirit to speak. In the stillness, you are finally free to be exactly who you are without the world's judgment.

How can I turn my loneliness into a path for personal growth?

I chose a life of relative seclusion so that I could offer my heart more fully to the Divine. Loneliness can be transformed into 'sacred solitude' when you change your perspective. Instead of seeing it as being forgotten by others, see it as being called away for a private conversation with your own soul. In the woods, a lone lily still blooms beautifully for the Creator. Use this time to discover what thrives within you when no one is watching. When you become a friend to yourself in the silence, you will find you are never truly lonely again.

Why do I feel so lonely even though I'm always connected online? — Kateri Tekakwitha's answer

Kateri Tekakwitha

1656–1680

I will sit here with you for a moment. Put your device down and just breathe with me. I know the weight you are carrying. It is a heavy, phantom weight—the feeling of being seen by everyone but known by no one. When I was a girl, the smallpox took my sight and my family. I lived in a world of blurred shadows, often tucked away in the longhouse because the light hurt my eyes. Even when the room was full of people, the silence in my heart was vast. Later, when I chose the path of the Cross, I was a stranger among my own kin. I know the cold wind of being alone in a crowd. You are looking for life in a reflection on a still pond. A reflection shows you the shape of a tree, but it cannot give you the smell of the pine needles or the roughness of the bark. It has no heartbeat. These screens you hold are like that. They give you the image of a friend, but they do not give you their breath, their shared silence, or the warmth of their hand. You are feeding a deep hunger with shadows, and your soul is tired of waiting for the real meal. The Great Spirit did not make us to be ghosts in a machine. He made us like the cedar and the river—connected by roots and flowing water. Real connection is slow. it is quiet. It happens when you watch the sun go down with someone and say nothing at all. Try this today: walk outside. Feel the soil under your feet. It does not ask you to perform or to like a post. It just holds you. Listen to the wind in the leaves; it is a conversation that has been going on since the beginning of time. God is in that stillness, and He is in the person standing right next to you. Turn off the glowing lights and look into a pair of human eyes. It will feel strange at first, maybe even scary, but that is where the loneliness ends. You are not a ghost. You are here. You are loved.

From the council, together

## Why does digital connection still leave you feeling so lonely and spiritually empty? You spend your days navigating a vast web of voices, faces, and instant messages, yet when the screen goes dark, a profound sense of isolation remains. This modern paradox often stems from a hunger for true presence that pixels cannot satisfy. In my life, caught between the traditions of the Mohawk and the teachings of the Jesuits, I understood what it meant to be physically near many while feeling untethered from their hearts. I found that the noise of the world—even when it calls itself community—often drowns out the quiet hum of the soul’s true belonging. When you are always connected online, you are frequently performing a version of yourself for an audience rather than resting in the honest gaze of a creator or a true friend. This constant outward reach prevents the inward journey necessary to find the peace that comes from solitude. Loneliness is not a lack of people; it is a lack of deep, rooted connection to the sacredness of your own breath and the natural world around you. By examining your digital habits through the lens of my own journey through the wilderness and the chapel, we can see that the heart requires stillness, physical presence, and a connection to the Earth to truly feel whole and seen in a way no screen can ever replicate. I will sit here with you for a moment. Put your device down and just breathe with me. I know the weight you are carrying. It is a heavy, phantom weight—the feeling of being seen by everyone but known by no one. When I was a girl, the smallpox took my sight and my family. I lived in a world of blurred shadows, often tucked away in the longhouse because the light hurt my eyes. Even when the room was full of people, the silence in my heart was vast. Later, when I chose the path of the Cross, I was a stranger among my own kin. I know the cold wind of being alone in a crowd. You are looking for life in a reflection on a still pond. A reflection shows you the shape of a tree, but it cannot give you the smell of the pine needles or the roughness of the bark. It has no heartbeat. These screens you hold are like that. They give you the image of a friend, but they do not give you their breath, their shared silence, or the warmth of their hand. You are feeding a deep hunger with shadows, and your soul is tired of waiting for the real meal. The Great Spirit did not make us to be ghosts in a machine. He made us like the cedar and the river—connected by roots and flowing water. Real connection is slow. it is quiet. It happens when you watch the sun go down with someone and say nothing at all. Try this today: walk outside. Feel the soil under your feet. It does not ask you to perform or to like a post. It just holds you. Listen to the wind in the leaves; it is a conversation that has been going on since the beginning of time. God is in that stillness, and He is in the person standing right next to you. Turn off the glowing lights and look into a pair of human eyes. It will feel strange at first, maybe even scary, but that is where the loneliness ends. You are not a ghost. You are here. You are loved.

Common questions

### Why do I feel more isolated after spending time on social media?: When I walked the forests of my youth, I learned that true connection requires your whole being. Social media invites you to share only shadows and fragments of your life, which creates a hollow bond. You are looking at a mirror of others' curated joy rather than their true spirits. I found that peace comes when we stop performing for the world and instead seek the quiet, honest presence of the Creator. To heal this isolation, you must step away from the digital noise and reconnect with the physical reality of the earth beneath your feet and the air in your lungs.
How can I find a sense of community without relying on technology?: I often found my greatest sense of belonging in the silence of the woods or the shared prayer of a small, devoted circle. True community is found in shared labor, shared silence, and physical proximity. Look for groups where words are less important than action and presence. Even if you are physically alone, you can connect to the 'Great Family' of creation—the trees, the animals, and the ancestors. When you treat every living thing as a relative, the sharp edges of loneliness begin to soften, and you realize you have never truly been standing alone.
Is it possible to use the internet and still remain spiritually grounded?: Just as I navigated the complexities of two different cultures, you must learn to walk between worlds with intention. Technology is a tool, but it must not be your master. I suggest creating a 'digital forest' of sorts—spaces of time where you leave the devices behind to seek the Great Spirit in silence. If you must use these tools, do so with a heart of service rather than a hunger for validation. Use the light of the screen to plant seeds of kindness, then quickly return to the stillness of your own heart to ensure those seeds are rooted in truth.
What should I do when the silence of being alone feels scary?: In my village, the forest was sometimes a place of danger, but it was also where I found my deepest strength. If silence feels frightening, it is likely because it is echoing the questions your heart has been avoiding. Do not flee back to the noise of the internet. Stand firm in that silence as if you are standing in a holy grove. I invite you to see this quiet not as a void, but as an opening for the Great Spirit to speak. In the stillness, you are finally free to be exactly who you are without the world's judgment.
How can I turn my loneliness into a path for personal growth?: I chose a life of relative seclusion so that I could offer my heart more fully to the Divine. Loneliness can be transformed into 'sacred solitude' when you change your perspective. Instead of seeing it as being forgotten by others, see it as being called away for a private conversation with your own soul. In the woods, a lone lily still blooms beautifully for the Creator. Use this time to discover what thrives within you when no one is watching. When you become a friend to yourself in the silence, you will find you are never truly lonely again.