
Joy Harjo
Contemporary · Mvskoke/Creek
I think it’s because we were never meant to be known in 2D. When you look at your screen, you’re looking at a ghost of an encounter. You are seeing the shape of a person, the outline of their thoughts, but you aren’t breathing the same air. There is a specific kind of quiet holiness in sitting next to someone where neither of you has to say anything. You can hear their sleeve brush against their side; you can see the way the sunlight catches the fuzz on their sweater. Those tiny, plain details are the things that actually anchor us to the earth and to each other. Online, everything is filtered through a thin pane of glass. It’s light without heat. We stay updated on the facts of people’s lives—where they traveled, what they ate, what they’re angry about today—but we miss the vibration of their presence. Information is not intimacy. You can know everything about a person’s week and still not know the current temperature of their spirit. Loneliness often feels like a heavy, cold stone in the chest, but I try to look at it as a form of hunger. It’s your soul being honest with you. It’s telling you that digital echoes aren’t enough to sustain a living, breathing heart. We are ancient creatures, built for the friction of touch and the slow pace of eye contact. Don't be too hard on yourself for feeling this gap. It means you’re still awake. It means you still value the real thing. My advice is to find one small, physical thing today that reminds you you’re here. Walk to a store and exchange a few words with the clerk about the weather. Watch a bird landing on a wire. Put your phone in a drawer and just sit with the silence of your room for ten minutes. It won't fix everything, but it’s a start. It’s a way of reclaiming your attention from the machine and giving it back to the world. You aren't failing at being connected; you're just built for a deeper kind of meeting than a screen can provide.
From the council, together
## Why does digital connection still leave you feeling so isolated and lonely, Joy Harjo? You find yourself staring at a glowing screen, scrolling through a river of faces and voices, yet a hollow ache persists in your chest. This modern paradox is a common struggle in a world that confuses digital noise with the living pulse of community. From the Mvskoke perspective I carry, life is a grand tapestry of relational threads that bind us to the land, our ancestors, and the breath of the universe. True connection is not found in the quantity of data exchanged, but in the quality of presence and the recognition of our place within a sacred circle. When we trade the physical vibration of a voice or the shared silence of a sunset for a pixelated imitation, we begin to lose our rhythm. This feeling of loneliness is your spirit signaling a thirst for the old ways of belonging—a reminder that your soul craves a relationship with the elements that cannot be captured in a feed. We are made of earth, wind, and memory, and when we sever those ties in favor of a virtual world, we drift away from our own center. Understanding this loneliness requires us to look beyond the technology and rediscover the songs that connect our individual stories to the eternal movement of the living world around us. I think it’s because we were never meant to be known in 2D. When you look at your screen, you’re looking at a ghost of an encounter. You are seeing the shape of a person, the outline of their thoughts, but you aren’t breathing the same air. There is a specific kind of quiet holiness in sitting next to someone where neither of you has to say anything. You can hear their sleeve brush against their side; you can see the way the sunlight catches the fuzz on their sweater. Those tiny, plain details are the things that actually anchor us to the earth and to each other. Online, everything is filtered through a thin pane of glass. It’s light without heat. We stay updated on the facts of people’s lives—where they traveled, what they ate, what they’re angry about today—but we miss the vibration of their presence. Information is not intimacy. You can know everything about a person’s week and still not know the current temperature of their spirit. Loneliness often feels like a heavy, cold stone in the chest, but I try to look at it as a form of hunger. It’s your soul being honest with you. It’s telling you that digital echoes aren’t enough to sustain a living, breathing heart. We are ancient creatures, built for the friction of touch and the slow pace of eye contact. Don't be too hard on yourself for feeling this gap. It means you’re still awake. It means you still value the real thing. My advice is to find one small, physical thing today that reminds you you’re here. Walk to a store and exchange a few words with the clerk about the weather. Watch a bird landing on a wire. Put your phone in a drawer and just sit with the silence of your room for ten minutes. It won't fix everything, but it’s a start. It’s a way of reclaiming your attention from the machine and giving it back to the world. You aren't failing at being connected; you're just built for a deeper kind of meeting than a screen can provide.
Common questions
- ### is social media harmful to my spiritual well-being
- I see these digital platforms as tools that can either carry a song or distort a heartbeat. They become harmful when they replace the actual breathing presence of the world. In my tradition, we understand that energy is passed through direct interaction—the way the sun hits the skin or how we sit together in a circle. When you spend all your time in a virtual space, you are eating shadows instead of substance. Your spirit needs the nourishment of real sunlight, real dirt, and real voices to feel whole and grounded in this life.
- how to feel less lonely without deleting my apps
- You do not necessarily have to walk away from the tools, but you must change your orientation toward them. Begin by grounding yourself in the physical world before you open your screen. I suggest stepping outside to greet the four directions or listening to the wind for five minutes. If you use your apps to truly honor a relationship—to speak words of life and memory—you bridge the gap. Loneliness fades when you stop consuming and start creating meaningful exchanges that reflect the truth of your soul rather than a curated image.
- why do I feel empty after scrolling for hours
- That emptiness is a sign that you have been wandering in a landscape without spirit. The digital world is often a place of ghosts—fragments of people without their full breath or history. When you scroll, you are trying to fill a sacred vessel with static. I believe we are meant to be in a constant dialogue with the living earth. Spend time with a tree, a poem, or a piece of music that moves your blood. You must reclaim your time from the machines to remember that you are a living part of a vast, breathing mystery.
- can technology help us find a sense of community
- It can be a map, but it is never the destination. Technology can help us find our relatives and share our stories across great distances, which is a powerful gift. However, a map is not the land itself. I have found that true community requires us to show up with our whole selves, including our vulnerabilities. If your online interactions allow you to be honest and lead you back to human connection and ancestral wisdom, they serve a purpose. But remember, the strongest community is one where we can hear each other’s breathing.
- how to reconnect with the world when feeling isolated
- Start with your own breath, for that is the first gift given to you by the Creator. Close your eyes and listen to the rhythms of your own body, then look out your window at the birds or the clouds. I often find that loneliness is just a forgotten memory of our interconnection. Find a way to be useful to someone or something else—tend a plant, feed a bird, or call an elder. When you move out of the self-centered space of the screen and into the service of the living, the walls of isolation begin to crumble.