
Etty Hillesum
1914–1943
I know exactly how heavy that internal noise feels. When your brain starts spinning, it’s usually because you’re trying to solve a problem that hasn’t happened yet, or you're replaying a conversation to find a different ending. It feels like you’re doing work, but you’re actually just stuck in a loop that drains your battery without moving you an inch. The first thing I want you to do is stop fighting the thought. When you tell yourself to "stop overthinking," you’re just giving your brain one more thing to stress about. Instead, try to shift your focus from your head down into your body. Take one breath—just one—where you actually feel the air move through your nose and fill your lungs. Don't worry about "meditating" for twenty minutes. Just be in this single breath. Anxiety thrives on the abstract. It loves the "what ifs." To break the spell, you have to get concrete. Look around the room and name three things you can see that are a specific color, or touch the fabric of your sleeves. This sounds simple—maybe even too simple—but it signals to your nervous system that you aren't currently in danger. You are right here, in a chair or on a train, and the ceiling isn't falling down. Much of our modern anxiety comes from the pressure to have everything figured out immediately. We treat our lives like projects that need to be optimized. But you don't have to solve the next five years, or even the next five days, right this second. If the future feels like a giant, overwhelming wave, just look at the very next small thing you have to do. Maybe that’s drinking a glass of water or closing a tab on your laptop. Do that one thing with your full attention. The rest of the world can wait a few minutes while you find your footing again. You’re going to be okay, even if things feel messy right now.
From the council, together
## How can I quiet my restless mind and find inner peace with Etty Hillesum? You are likely sitting in the glow of a screen, feeling the weight of the world pressing against your chest as your thoughts race through a thousand different scenarios. This modern anxiety often feels like a fragmented storm, making you feel disconnected from your own body and the quiet world around you. Etty Hillesum understood this frantic internal dialogue deeply, living as she did through a time of unimaginable external chaos and restriction. Her tradition is one of radical internal inventory and the cultivation of an 'inner landscape' that remains untouched by the storms of the outside world. She believed that when we overthink, we are often trying to solve life as if it were a math problem rather than experiencing it as a vast, unfolding reality. To calm your anxiety right now, Etty’s perspective suggests that you must stop fighting the waves and instead become the deep ocean beneath them. Her wisdom invites you to stop exhausting yourself by trying to outrun your fears and instead sit with them, acknowledging their presence without letting them dictate the boundaries of your soul. This approach is not about ignoring the darkness but about finding the internal strength to hold it while still noticing the beauty of a single patch of sky or the rhythmic breath in your lungs. I know exactly how heavy that internal noise feels. When your brain starts spinning, it’s usually because you’re trying to solve a problem that hasn’t happened yet, or you're replaying a conversation to find a different ending. It feels like you’re doing work, but you’re actually just stuck in a loop that drains your battery without moving you an inch. The first thing I want you to do is stop fighting the thought. When you tell yourself to "stop overthinking," you’re just giving your brain one more thing to stress about. Instead, try to shift your focus from your head down into your body. Take one breath—just one—where you actually feel the air move through your nose and fill your lungs. Don't worry about "meditating" for twenty minutes. Just be in this single breath. Anxiety thrives on the abstract. It loves the "what ifs." To break the spell, you have to get concrete. Look around the room and name three things you can see that are a specific color, or touch the fabric of your sleeves. This sounds simple—maybe even too simple—but it signals to your nervous system that you aren't currently in danger. You are right here, in a chair or on a train, and the ceiling isn't falling down. Much of our modern anxiety comes from the pressure to have everything figured out immediately. We treat our lives like projects that need to be optimized. But you don't have to solve the next five years, or even the next five days, right this second. If the future feels like a giant, overwhelming wave, just look at the very next small thing you have to do. Maybe that’s drinking a glass of water or closing a tab on your laptop. Do that one thing with your full attention. The rest of the world can wait a few minutes while you find your footing again. You’re going to be okay, even if things feel messy right now.
Common questions
- ### How can I stop my thoughts from racing when I feel overwhelmed?
- I often found that my own head was a crowded place, filled with 'muddled thinking' that tried to solve things that cannot be solved by logic alone. When you feel overwhelmed, I suggest you stop the struggle. I have learned to 'kneel down' metaphorically or literally, creating a quiet space within myself. You must thin out the crowded forest of your mind by focusing on the immediate. Do not worry about tomorrow's bread or totalities that don't exist yet. Focus on the simple fact of your existence in this very second and let the rest fall away like dry leaves.
- Why do I feel so much guilt for being anxious when others have it worse?
- I believe that all human suffering is a single, great tide, and your personal pain is not diminished by the tragedies of history. During my time in the camp, I saw that one must not feel ashamed of their internal struggles. However, you must not let your anxiety become a wall that shuts out the world. Use your sensitivity as a bridge. Instead of guilt, try to find a 'broadness' in your heart that can hold both your fear and your appreciation for life. Your suffering is valid, but it is not the whole of who you are.
- What is the best way to find meaning in a chaotic world?
- Meaning is not something we find in the news or in perfect circumstances; it is something we create by being 'the thinking heart' of our own lives. I found that even behind barbed wire, the sun still rose and the jasmine still smelled sweet. You find meaning by choosing to be a witness to life’s beauty despite the shadows. I often sat in a corner and simply listened to my own heartbeat, realizing that my inner life was a vast territory that no external force could ever conquer. Peace starts when you stop demanding the world be different and start being a sanctuary for yourself.
- How do I deal with the fear of a dark or uncertain future?
- The future is a phantom that robs us of the strength we need for the present. I learned that we must not borrow trouble from the days ahead. If we try to carry the weight of the next ten years all at once, we will surely break. I tell myself, and I tell you: give your full attention to the task at hand and the person in front of you. When you limit your horizon to the present moment, you find that you actually have enough strength to survive it. The future will arrive one moment at a time, and you will meet it with the same spirit you have now.
- How can I stay hopeful when everything feels like it’s falling apart?
- Hope is not a feeling; it is an act of will. I always said that I wanted to be 'the heart of the barracks,' and you can be the heart of your own life. Even when the world feels broken, there is a core of goodness in existence that remains. I found that by being grateful for the smallest things—a piece of bread, a letter, a scrap of blue sky—I could keep my soul intact. Do not look for hope in the absence of problems. Look for it in your ability to remain kind and observant even when things are difficult. Life is beautiful, and it is worth it, always.